Little Caesars Pizza

  1. Purveyor of $6.00 pepperoni pizza-like products for office parties and birthday parties alike
  2. Marketing geniuses behind the innovative slogan: “Pizza, Pizza!”

Usage Example: “I forgot to cook something for the office pot-luck lunch. Looks like I’ll be stopping at Little Caesars Pizza on my way to work.”

Background: Aristotle first made the statement: “If one only has six dollars, his pizza options are limited.”

That statement is true. If you only have six dollars, you can always take home a frozen pizza from the grocery store; but that option takes too much effort for most Americans.

Another option is to visit that place between the laundromat and the empty storefront on the other side of town: Little Caesars Pizza. If you have six dollars, Little Caesars has a “Warm-N-Adequate” pepperoni pizza waiting for you. Little Caesars is a long-time supplier of picnics, office parties, and kids’ birthday parties. Any situation that calls for a pizza that is “OK, I guess,” calls for Little Caesars.

Little Caesars gained their desperate following through innovative marketing campaigns. They pioneered the innovative catch-phrase “Pizza, Pizza!” – uttered just like Caesar himself would have said it. They also named their breadsticks “Crazy Bread” for how truly insane you’d have to be to order them.

It is also important to note that Little Caesars has begun offering a pizza with a “bacon wrapped crust.” So, not only do they want to help you fulfill your desire for cheap and adequate pizza, but they are also apparently attempting to kill you.