Political Party Convention

1.     Crazy hat fashion show

2.     An excuse for adults to behave like children

3.     The balloon industry’s Super Bowl

4.     A lame party’s lame party

Usage Example: “I didn’t come to this party convention to sit behind someone wearing a 3-foot Mount Rushmore hat! I can’t see who’s yelling at us!”

Background: Every four years, American political parties assemble their loneliest members to fill a room and put on a massive crazy-hat fashion show. This fashion show is unlike any other fashion show in the world. It is unique for the following reasons:

– Participants elect a party king or queen, and spend several days yelling about why their fashion show king is the best.

– Participants are expected to revert to childhood. Crazy hats, funny outfits, yelling, name calling, crying and booing are all acceptable and encouraged.

– The show reaches its climax with a tedious speech from the king or queen.

– In a bizarre twist, convention organizers then attempt to kill the new king or queen by dumping tons of balloons on him/her. This tactic has proven completely ineffective and horribly inefficient. It has a 100% failure rate. However, since there is nothing that politicians enjoy more than consistent failure and inefficiency, it will never change.

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