Artisan

  1. Food produced in small batches to ensure a high level of imperfection
  2. Household products that are scuffed and dented by hand
  3. Hippie or hipster creating small batch, ugly products in order to avoid a desk job

Usage Example: “No, this coffee table wasn’t built by a kindergarten class; it is a hand-made artisan table. I bought it from that guy with a gray pony tail. He has a shop downtown. He says that the design came to him while on a spirit quest.”

Background: Artisan is an incredibly versatile term. While the word is often used to describe bumpy, uneven products; it is also used to describe the bumpy, uneven people who create them.

The food industry uses the word “artisan” in order to maximize profits. That bumpy, slightly burned loaf of bread may have been made using a bag of mix, but since it looks bad, it can be called “artisan bread.” That label will allow the store to charge twice as much.

Artisans are people who dream of turning their hobbies into a food truck, hipster bbq trailer, or getting a share of an artist’s co-op. These people create products using the most cumbersome and old fashioned methods possible. This allows artisans to charge maximum prices for their products, and avoid desk jobs for as long as possible.

Many people attempt ugly, artisan home repairs. Fixing a lawn mower using duct tape always qualifies as an artisan repair.

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