- Prepackaged lunch product that pretends that it’s normal to eat cold chicken nuggets
- Prepackaged lunch product that pretends that it’s normal to eat uncooked pizza
- Physical proof that kids consistently make terrible decisions
Usage Example: “Can we buy these Lunchables?! Please?! I want the one with the cold, uncooked pepperoni pizza!”
Background: Kraft Lunchables operate on a simple premise: kids will beg their parents for whatever they see in commercials. It doesn’t really matter what is being sold, if it has a loud and colorful commercial, kids need it.
Lunchables are prepackaged, processed lunch-food-like products that defy logic. Kids like pizza, right? Kraft decided that kids like pizza so much, that they will eat a pizza that is cold an uncooked. They also decided that kids should like cold chicken nuggets.
Well… Kraft was right. Apparently, kids will eat these things. Kids have long enjoyed a rich history of poor decision making. From the Children’s Crusade, to Slime Time Live, to Furby and Justin Bieber – kids have a way of consistently making horrendous choices. Lunchables are just another ridiculous product making money off of the frighteningly bad logic of our children.
Now, I need to end this post and grab a piece of cold pizza from the fridge…
