Comb Over

  1. A poorly played game of hide-and-seek with a scalp
  2. Effective method of communicating baldness
  3. Haircut of deception

Usage Example: “Lester has a comb over? I had no idea. I always thought he had an incredibly smooth and flat haircut.”

Background: Nothing screams “I’m bald” like a good old fashioned comb over. The comb over is intended to deceive people into thinking that the wearer has a full head of hair. However, the comb over is as effective at hiding baldness as the duck-and-cover method is at providing protection from a nuclear blast.

Unfortunately, in all of human history, the comb over has only fooled one person: a legally-blind individual named Randy, from Warwick, RI. In spite of its incredibly low success rate, the comb over is still utilized. Like a child covering his eyes and saying that you can’t see him, the comb over vainly pretends that no one can see the scalp underneath it.

In the wild, the comb over’s native habitat includes local post offices, the Old Country Buffet and wherever Donald Trump is currently located.

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