Nerds

  1. Tiny, waxy pieces of candy gravel
  2. Fun and easy way of ingesting car wax

Usage Example: “Did you put your mouth on this box of Nerds?”

Background:  All kids love to eat rocks. The trailblazing candy developers at Nestle banked on this premise when they created Nerds candy.

Today, Nerds are the top selling candy in the crowded “candy gravel” market. Nerds combine all the fun of eating handfuls of gravel, with the benefits of ingesting Turtle Wax. Nerds contain a substance called carnauba wax. This wax is commonly used in shoe polish and car wax. The public has long demanded that car wax enter the candy market, and Nerds is one of the products to make it happen.

Nerds are often sold in cardboard boxes with two separate compartments. This allows two flavors of Nerds to be packaged together. This packaging also invites kids to put their mouths on the box when eating them. Always assume that anyone offering you an open box of Nerds has already put their mouths on the box.

In the days following the initial release of Nerds candy, the public wondered how long it would take until Nestle decided to plaster Nerds all over a gummy rope. The answer is: way too long. Finally, the makers of Nerds caved to the inevitable and released the Nerds Rope. It was only a matter of time.

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