Clamato Juice

  1. A mixture of tomato juice and clam juice…for some reason
  2. The answer to a question that no one ever asked
  3. Bottles of red liquid used to help grocery store shelves look full
  4. A real thing

Usage Example: “This tomato juice isn’t bad. I just wish it had more bivalve mollusk flavor. I need some Clamato.”

Figure 1 - Proof that Clamato juice actually exists. Note the small clam on the label.

Figure 1 – Clamato – Note the small clam on the label.

Background: The lack of shellfish in mass-produced fruit and vegetable juice is alarming. Thankfully, the people at Mott’s produce Clamato: one of the few fruit and vegetable juice products to include the flavor of clam.

Thankfully, Clamato eliminates the messy process of mixing clam juice with your favorite juice drinks at home. Everyone is tired of doing this. For years, I struggled with tiny funnels and tape, trying to mix the clam juice that my kids demanded, into their Capri Sun “Pacific Cooler” juice pouches. Now, I just send them off to school with Clamato. Thank you, Clamato.

With clam juice finally finding its way into fruit and vegetable juices, the market is now ripe for more garden-ocean juice combinations. Cranberry-Oyster, Grape-Squid, and Orange-Pineapple-Horseshoe Crab are flavors that we all can agree are long overdue.

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