Oil Change

  1. Trip to a metal and cinder block depression chamber
  2. Effective weight loss program for wallets

Usage Example: “The oil change place says that I need a new JQB valve. It could be expensive.”

Background:  Some people choose to change their own automotive oil. This process is relatively simple and inexpensive. However, it can also be messy and time consuming. This is why many people choose to get their oil changed at a quick-service oil change facility.

Upon driving to the back of an oil change facility, the customer is greeted by a technician. The technician welcomes him and asks him if he wants to upgrade to the fully synthetic, fully expensive motor oil. After declining the Champagne of motor oils, the customer is led into a cramped waiting room to watch Judge Mathis and drink burnt coffee while he nervously waits for the results of the oil change.

The waiting room is tense. After a few minutes, the technician summons the customer. The customer then walks to his car to receive the bad news. The technician shows the customer an air filter speckled with a few molecules of dust and warns the customer about the dangers of driving with a dirty air filter. The technician then generally points under the hood of the car and mentions that a belt is cracked and needs to be replaced. He also tells the customer about his bad JQB valve and lets him know that they have one in stock.

At this point, the customer agrees to have the work done, and is led back into the waiting room. The customer spends the next 15 minutes pretending to look at Field and Stream while the technicians get back to work. They change the air filter and belt while pretending that a JQB valve actually exists.

They then place a sticker on the customer’s windshield, explain that his coupon is only good on Wednesday mornings, lighten his wallet and send him on his way.

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