Mother’s Day

  1. The single day each year keeping the brunch, breakfast-in-bed and flower delivery industries viable
  2. Conscience cleansing holiday invented by (and for) lazy people

Usage Example: “We’re going all-out this year. I’m taking mom to Mother’s Day brunch at K&W Cafeteria.”

Background: In the US, Mother’s Day is a holiday observed on the second Sunday in May. The concept of Mother’s Day is simple: you can wash over 364 days of neglect and apathy with a one-day tsunami of flowers, brunch and/or breakfast in bed. Because of this, Mother’s Day grants tacit approval for children to take their mothers for granted on every other day of the year.

The brunch lobby has been a strong supporter of Mother’s Day from its inception. Each Mother’s Day, hordes of children give their mothers flowers and inexplicably drag them to a meal that barely exists outside of the second Sunday in May.

The most bizarre Mother’s Day tradition is the ritual of “breakfast in bed”. Breakfast in bed assumes that mothers would like children, who can barely sit at the table without spilling something, to prepare and serve a meal to them in the place in which they sleep. Some mothers find this terrifying. Most mothers appreciate the idea of breakfast in bed, much more than its actual execution. Most mothers would prefer “quiet in bed” and “breakfast at the table” followed by “clean the kitchen” and “clean your rooms”.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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