Energy Drinks

  1. Cans of brightly colored liquid chemicals that, when ingested, provide extra energy and diabetes to fourteen and fifteen year-olds alike
  2. Sugary, carbonated delivery method for caffeine, taurine, guarana and twenty other chemicals that no one knows anything about, but assumes are good (example: L-Theanine)

Usage Example: “Dude, I killed 3 energy drinks when we were playing Medal of Honor at Matt’s house last night. ”

Background: With brand names like NOS, Amp, Monster and Rockstar; energy drinks are often marketed with extreme sports. However, in reality, they are most often consumed during extreme video-gaming and extreme TV watching. Energy drinks are complex beverages that pair well with Doritos, frozen burritos and Little Caesar’s Pizza.

Energy drinks are the Vin Diesel of beverages. Besides the fact that “Vin Diesel” would actually be a believable name for an energy drink, they are both extreme, appeal to teenagers, and are filled with chemicals.

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