Boxing

  1. Event in which a couple of guys get together to beat each other up for money, in front of a crowd of onlookers
  2. A sport from the past, comprised of overblown and over-expensive pay-per-view events

Usage Example: “I can’t believe that I actually paid $90 to watch a boxing match that was over in two minutes.”

Background: Boxing was a semi-popular diversion in the past. These days, when people decide that they want to watch a couple of guys hitting each other for a while, they usually turn to MMA (Mixed Martial Arts).

However, once every few years, the sport of boxing hops into its DeLorean, and leaves 1970 to join us in the present. When this happens, boxing fever grips the nation. We suddenly get excited about paying obnoxious amounts of money to watch a couple of guys strip down to their shorts and hit each other for a few minutes.

Celebrities will often visit the fights in person – thus giving them the full boxing experience. The “full boxing experience” involves being trapped in a dark, Las Vegas casino arena with suffocating hordes of spectators, other celebrities and mafia members; while occasionally being showered with the sweat and blood of the two guys beating each other up.

Once the fight is over, boxing returns to the past, only to surface in the present when we least expect it.

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